


Katara's Lament

by zukospride



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:27:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24901543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zukospride/pseuds/zukospride
Summary: A one-shot about how our favorite warrior queen can't always be just and kind.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 32





	Katara's Lament

Katara stood at the stern of the boat, eyes taking in the soft pastels of the setting sun. Hands gripping the rail that circumferenced the ship, she could feel the energy of the water lapping at the vessel below. The young waterbender had tried to make this a habit of hers, hoping to ground herself against the turbulent thoughts that raged like a hurricane in her mind.

How could she have been so _stupid?_ Blinded by optimism, by a hope that people were truly capable of change, and that hope had cost her friend his life. Cost them the war, and the world.

Shaking her head gently to try to knock loose the boiling feeling of shame that had settled in the base of her neck, she let go of the railing and stepped back, slipping into a wide stance. Taking a big breath, Katara pulled both of her arms up, twisting them slightly as they raised and coaxing a stream of water to rise out of the ocean they sailed.

Closing her eyes, she allowed her body to move however it felt natural, starting a slow circle around the deck. The young master tried to focus hard on the water that flowed around her, keeping her mind sharp and focused, but that seemed like an impossible task lately.

_“Katara, you need to listen to me.”_

Her movements faltered a bit as a recent memory surfaced, replaying in her mind.

_Katara ignored the words of her father, and continued her hurried walk down the corridor of the ship. The ship was old, probably one that would have been decommissioned anyway if they hadn't stolen it. The metal below their feet groaned as Chief Hakoda took a few long strides to walk behind his daughter, not satisfied with the end of their conversation._

_“Katara, please you’re not being reasonable.”_

_The words made the young girl stop so abruptly her father almost crashed into her, and she turned on her heel, chest heaving with large gulps of air._

_“I’m not being reasonable? I’m_ always _reasonable, not that you would know, because you were never around! I’m not trying to be level headed and selfless right now dad, I’m trying to_ grieve!” _Katara’s voice was loud, but wavering. Pain lacing every word._

_“Honey, wha-” But Katara wasn’t done._

_“I’m trying to grieve my friend, who might still never wake up, despite the hours I’ve spent trying to heal him. I’m trying to grieve my_ culture, _because if Aang is gone then we’ve officially lost this war. I’m trying to grieve my_ hope, _because no matter how hard I look I just can’t seem to muster it up anymore.” The young girl paused then, tears beginning to fall from her eyes, and attempted to catch her breath for a moment before continuing._

 _“I’m trying to grieve_ for myself _, dad. Because I know what I have to do now.” her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’ve realized that people don’t change, and the loyals of the fire nation are too brainwashed to see any sort of truth. Whether Aang wakes up or not, we can’t just sit by and let Ozai take control of the world. Not without a fight.”_

_“Katara, you don’t need to work yourself up over this. Even if the avatar never wakes up, you aren’t going this alone. I’ll be right there with you.”_

_Anger seared the pit of the waterbenders stomach, making her grit her teeth. She turned from her father then, but instead of leaving right away she left him with one final thought. “I thought you would be by my side after mom died. After she was_ murdered _protecting me. But you left, almost immediately - and you didn’t come back.”_

_Before Hakoda could say anything, his daughter was gone, and so was a piece of himself._

Katara’s hands were shaking when she pulled herself from the memory, the water she had been bending a forgotten puddle at her feet. Running a hand through her hair she sighed, displeased with herself. She wasn’t sure why she was being so volatile with her father. Sure, her feelings weren’t unfounded, but the rational side of her knew that now was not the time to try and make him feel guilty.

That was her issue, though. She had been having such a hard time listening to the rational part of herself, because the vengeful side was growing stronger every minute that Aang lay motionless below deck. She grappled with the guilt that this could have all somehow been avoided, if she had just dealt with Zuko when she first laid eyes on him. Why had she even given him a chance to explain himself, to talk at all? He had tried to capture and harm her family and Aang on more than one occasion, but the voice of her mother was always present during these moral dilemmas.

“ _Everyone has light and dark, Katara. You must shine bright enough that their light is drawn to yours. No one wants to stay in the dark.”_

But she was wrong. Some people prefer the dark, it’s where they’re comfortable, and Katara was afraid she was fast approaching her own precipice. 

“Katara?” Her father's voice was uncertain behind her, and she flinched at the unwanted pang of annoyance she felt at his presence. “I was wondering if you had a minute?”

The young woman was terrified at the anger she couldn’t control, the need to lash out at him for interrupting her, for assuming everything was just okay now. She tried to open her mouth to say something, but her feet began moving instead, pushing her past him and toward the staircase that led below deck.

“Katara-”

“I have to go check on Aang.” Her body felt heavy, murky. She wished she could cleanse the waters of her soul, but she didn’t have the energy to save two people at once.

**Author's Note:**

> Love you guys, always! <3


End file.
